Goodbye, Blog

For the past couple of weeks, I've been mulling over whether I should continue writing my blogs.

When I started blogging almost 3 years ago, I was really struggling. Our dear friends' baby had died just a couple of hours after birth and I had been there to watch him slip from life to death. My own baby was just a few weeks old and I was battling post partum depression. I was doing the bookkeeping and office administration from home for our Subway store and was having a hard time juggling two kids and office work. Our landlords had decided to sell the condo we were renting, so we were trying to figure out what we would do next -- continue renting, or buy a townhouse which would mean moving about 30 minutes away to an area we could afford.

Blogging provided me with a welcome escape. I've always loved writing, and blogging was a way to do what I loved without the pressure of having to try to sell pieces or impress an editor. It became a wonderful outlet and something I looked forward to.

A few months later when we did buy a townhouse and started attending a church much closer to our new home, blogging and reading other people's blogs helped me get to know people much faster and provided easy conversation starters when I would see them around church.

For the past 3 years I've really enjoyed sharing our life and my thoughts here in my blog. But lately I've been wondering if my season for blogging is perhaps over. I'm at a much healthier place personally than I was 3 years ago. My kids are almost 5 and 3, and I'm thoroughly enjoying watching them grow and develop. My friend whose baby died now has an adorable 18-month old who brings so much happiness to her and her husband. We sold our Subway store and I no longer do the bookwork and office administration. We're settled in our townhouse and neighborhood, feeling like we really belong here and enjoying our neighbors. I belong to a great moms group of about 70 women who meet every other week for speakers, small group discussion and a buffet breakfast while our kids are watched after by volunteers.

I write this not to make it sound like our life is perfect, because it's not and we have plenty of problems and struggles, but I feel much healthier and solid than I did 3 years ago.

Lately I just haven't enjoyed blogging as much. Sometimes it's actually felt like a burden. And then last week I realized, "Why am I putting so much pressure on myself to continue my blog if I don't feel the need for it personally and God has brought other things into my life right now that I enjoy focusing on, like writing for our moms group newsletter?"

So I've decided that I'm going to stop blogging (at least, that's the plan...who knows, I may go through such withdrawal that I'm back here in a few weeks!). I feel a little sad, because I've really enjoyed the blogging community I've become a part of. I have so appreciated everyone's thoughtful, interesting comments. They have meant more to me that you know!

I'm not going to delete my main family blog. It will still be there. But I'm not going to write any more. I'll just use to as a place to post pictures of the kids so my overseas parents and our "adopted Grandma" can see what the kids have been up to.

I haven't quite decided what to do about this blog. I'll probably just leave it for now in case I decide to return to it later.

So goodbye, blog, and goodbye to all my blogging friends! God bless you!

Taking a Holiday

Hi Blogging Friends,

I normally post here every Monday, but I'm going to enjoy the Labor Day holiday and post on Tuesday instead!

I hope you have a great day and enjoy your family and friends!

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Homeschooling Day

If you also read our family blog, you'll notice I have the same post on both blogs this week. This post is more about being real in blogging, than it is strictly about homeschooling, so I felt like it applied to both blogs. Check back next Monday for my reflections on our first month of homeschooling.

This past week, we had a rough homeschooling day.

Michael woke up cranky and it continued all morning. He cried and got upset every time his Lego building fell over (which was many times). Holly didn't want to do her homeschooling, and I was really dragging for some reason.

Then we went grocery shopping in the afternoon and Michael and Holly were out of sorts. Prison may not be very sucessful at reforming people, but I'm sure that grocery shopping with two kids would do the trick.

By the end of the day, I wanted to quit homeschooling and send my kids to my sister's house for a month.

Originally, I intended to write a post about something totally different. However, after our terrible, horrible, no good, very bad homeschooling day, I thought it was more important to blog about this.

Here's the reason why. Sometimes when I read blogs, I feel discouraged because it seems like everyone's life is going so well except for mine. Everyone else is taking great vacations, having a grand time with their kids and getting along perfectly with their husband.

I know the real problem is me -- my lack of contentment and my tendency to compare my life with others'. But I also think a little bit of it is the fact that many of us tend to blog about the good things. I do. I don't normally write about the big arguments I have with my husband, the days I yell at my kids, or the financial struggles we have living on one income.

I do a disservice to myself and everyone who reads my blog if I'm only willing to write about what goes well. Not only do I present an inaccurate view of our family life, but I rob others of the chance to be encouraged by the fact that they are not the only ones who don't have it all together. This doesn't mean I inappropriately reveal everything about life in our family, but rather that I am not too proud to admit that sometimes I have rotten days.

My friend Stephanie recently wrote a post that I really appreciated. It addressed this very thing. It's called My Real Life and it talks about the parts of her life that she doesn't usually reveal on her blog.

By the time my husband came home from work, little Michael had apparently worked out a plan to help Mom get back on track. "Me, Holly, Daddy go Inner Harbor [a place the kids love in downtown Baltimore]. Mommy not go!"

When I heard that, I burst out laughing. "Michael," I said, "you don't want me to come?!" He replied, "No, you go sleep in bedroom!" I guess he already knows that a little more sleep solves many of Mom's attitude problems.

That night during our prayer when I put him to bed, I asked God to help us all have a better day the next day. Little Michael smiled up at me and said repentantly, "I sorry, Mommy. I sorry." My heart melted.

Maybe it wasn't such a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day after all.

Changes to our Homeschooling Routine

Homeschooling has been going better the last couple of weeks.

The first week was great, then we hit a really rough week, and now things have evened out.

I've had to make a major change. We are now doing our homeschooling in the morning instead of in the afternoon after the kids' naps.

Initially I chose the afternoon hoping that we wouldn't have to cut out any of our morning activities. Normally, our mornings are filled with visits to the library and park, playdates with friends, grocery shopping, errands around town, and story time at the mall with friends we see there every week.

We stay at home most afternoons. After being out in the morning, the kids need time after their naps for free play and I need time to get household things done. It's worked out really well for the last couple of years.

But it wasn't working very well with homeschooling. In the afternoons, Michael was often cranky and demanding; Holly wanted to play instead of sitting down to focus.

So I bit the bullet and decided to try something different for a week -- doing our homeschooling in the mornings.

It's worked a lot better. Michael is much more content to play on his own or join in with Holly's activities. Holly is fresher and excited to do her homeschooling.

But it's meant a huge shift for me in terms of our daily routine. I'm a morning person and I have always loved starting out the day with somewhere fun to go.

But as I have learned countless other times in motherhood, sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want for the sake of what's best for the others in your family. In this case, it means we now homeschool in the morning.

I'll miss some of our morning activities. We've been going to see "Miss Julie" who leads story time at the mall for over 4 years. She's become a friend we enjoy seeing every week. I'll miss her. I'll miss some of my friends who I won't see quite as much now that we don't have our mornings free.

But the great thing about homeschooling is the flexibility. I'm going to try doing our homeschooling 4 days a week and leaving one morning a week open for activities -- doctor's visits, playdates, my moms group that will start up in September, visits with friends, etc. And even if it takes us a few months longer to finish our Kindergarten curriculum, that's fine with me. Part of the reason I chose homeschooling was for the flexibility, so it makes sense to take advantage of it.

And we'll be doing more activities in the afternoon now, like getting books from the library, grocery shopping and doing errands. After doing school in the mornings, I think we'll be ready for a change of scenery in the afternoons.

So we'll see how it goes. I'll keep you posted!

Just How Busy Should We Be?

One of the things that I've been thinking through lately is how many outside activities we should be involved in this year, and what kind.

There are lots of things we could pursue -- playgroups, moms groups, Bible Study groups, homeschooling co-ops, sports activities, music lessons... Just thinking about it all makes my head spin.

On one hand, I don't want to have so many activities that we're simply dragging ourselves from one commitment to another. On the other hand, the right activities can make life rich and enjoyable.

This year, I've decided that we'll each have one main activity.

Mine is MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) which meets at our church every other week. Around 40 or 50 moms attend while our kids are looked after in age-appropriate classes by wonderful volunteers. We enjoy a buffet breakfast, speakers, small group discussion time, and outside playgroups. This group was a lifesaver to me last year (in fact, when my husband met one of the "mentor moms" -- an older woman who encourages us younger moms -- he said, "Oh! So you're the reason my wife is so much happier this year!").

Holly's activity is her free preschool art class at The Walters Art Museum in Baltimore that she and I attend one morning a month. It's a fabulous program. Miss Sarah reads a book about art, then we go and look at several paintings in the museum as Miss Sarah guides the preschoolers in a discussion of different art concepts, then we do a related art activity. Not only do Holly and I get to spend one-on-one time together, we also get to learn about art, and Holly always has a neat project to bring home.

Michael's activity is a toddler art class at the same museum. This one I imposed on him (yes, the drawbacks of being the youngest in the family!). Although Holly's art class is free, space is limited and slots fill up very quickly. Families who buy a $75 family membership to the museum get priority registration for the class. Since Holly had been asking me for months to find an art class for her, I was more than willing to pay $75 for an entire year's worth of classes. Since we already bought a membership, I figured this could be Michael's activity too, as it wouldn't cost us any additional money, and meant that each child's class is only $3. We pay $2 for parking, and pack a picnic lunch, making the grand total $5. His hasn't started yet, but if Holly's class is any indication of what his class will be like, it will be great.

Of course, MOPS and art class aren't the only things we'll be doing this year, but those are the main things we're going to focus on. We'll still get together with friends for playdates, go to the library every week, and go on field trips. But hopefully, keeping things simple will give us time to enjoy each other, our activities, and our homeschooling.

Homeschooling: The Honeymoon is Over

My last couple of posts have been about how well homeschooling is going for us. Those posts were glowing tributes to our curriculum, to how easily we had transitioned to homeschooling, and to how well we were all doing.

For anyone who felt a little depressed after reading those posts and thought, "That's nice for them, but why don't I feel the same glorious feelings she does?!" then this post will make you feel a whole lot better.

That's because the honeymoon is officially over. In the back of my mind, I sort of knew we were in that "everything is great" stage, but boy was I enjoying it and hoping that perhaps it would be a permanent fixture in our homeschooling adventure. Well, it wasn't exactly.

This week, my 2.5 year old son who previously had been happy to join in Holly's homeschooling activities or play nicely by himself decided that he wanted ALL of my attention. That didn't work so well for me. My poor daughter got so frustrated at the constant interruptions ("Mom, can you PLEASE stop fixing his Lego train and finish our history?!").

And then my daughter just didn't want to do any homeschooling a couple of days. I told her that we needed to at least do some work, and once we got into it she actually wanted to do more than I had planned, but it certainly wasn't like day one when she was begging me to do school.

Yes, I guess our homeschooling honeymoon had to end some time or another, but I was really enjoying it and I'm kind of sad to see it go. One thing that's certain, though -- I feel about homeschooling the way I felt about marriage: the honeymoon may be over, but I'm still really glad I married this guy!

Our First Week of Homeschooling: 4 Things That Surprised Me

Our first week of homeschooling is officially under our belt. Here are 4 things that have surprised me.

1) How much I love it.

I have to chalk this up to the great materials in the Sonlight Newcomers Kindergarten Package. Considering that I always said I would never homeschool, the fact that I am enjoying it as much (more?) than the kids is a miracle. The books we use are fascinating, the activities in the Instructor's Guides are fun, and there is lots of reading. My kids and I love to read, so Sonlight's literature-based curriculum is perfect for us. I wake up each morning excited about the new things we will learn together.

2) How confident I feel.

Again, I have to give credit to Sonlight for their marvelous Instructor's Guides that come with every subject. Having never taken even one elementary education class, I need a lot of guidance. The Instructor's Guides list everything I need to do each day. And Sonlight is adamant that parents not just rotely follow every single lesson plan, but tailor the activities and assignments to their children. We are free to go at a pace that works for Holly, and I know that she is receiving a great education.

I spent a lot of time choosing the right curriculum for us, and I think this is a large reason why I feel so confident. I spent weeks looking at all sorts of curriculum companies -- their educational philosphy, their materials, their support resources (Sonlight provides online forums where I can talk to other moms who are using the same Kindergarten curriculum). A different curriculum might not have worked as well for us and made me second-guess our decison to homeschool this year.

3) How well Michael has done.

Before we started homeschooling, I had no idea how well 2 1/2 year old Michael would fit into all of this. He's done much better than I thought he would. He normally sits on my lap if we're working at the table, or snuggles in my lap when we read our History and Science books. He doesn't stick around for the Read-Alouds (right now we're doing The Boxcar Children) but usually plays by himself or asks me "You done yet?" every few minutes.

As much as possible, I try to include him in whatever we're doing. On Friday, Holly was counting colorful beads for a math lesson. I let Michael count some too ("One, two, three, eight, nine, ten, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen!"). When Holly practices Handwriting Michael uses her little chalkboard and practices too. When we sing our Bible memory verses on CD, Michael sings along.

4) How easily homeschooling has fit into our family life.

Before we started homeschooling, I wasn't sure how much time it would take every day. I hesitated to start this summer, even though my daughter was begging me to, because I didn't want us to miss out on our fun activities outdoors.

It turns out that we haven't really had to change our daily routine much at all. We still do our normal morning activities (library, playdates at the park with friends, grocery shopping and such) then we stick around home in the afternoons. I still cook dinner while the kids nap, so my afternoons are free to interact with them. We do homeschooling in the afternoons -- a few subjects every day as Holly is interested. The Kindergarten curriculum only takes about 2 hours a day for all subjects, but I'm not rigid about having to accomplish everything every day. I just rotate subjects so that we are getting through them every couple of days. In the evening after the kids are in bed, I briefly look over upcoming lessons and make any changes that I need to.

Additional Thoughts

I'm sure that part of the ease with which we've transitioned to homeschooling is due to three additional factors. One is the fact that we are starting with Kindergarten, which is easy for me to guide Holly through and doesn't require loads of time each day.

The second is the ages of my kids. Holly is almost 5, and Michael is approaching 3. I don't have any little babies who require feedings every two hours and who keep me up at night. Michael is old enough to be very interested in what Holly does, and when he gets bored, he's usually able to entertain himself.

And last, because my kids are still young, I'm used to having them with me all day, so having Holly around for homeschooling isn't any different than life usually is. I'm guessing it might have been a harder transition if she had gone to school for several years and I'd gotten used to that lovely free time each day.

I know that there will be days that are hard, but I'm thankful that right now, homeschooling is working well for us and we're really happy we made this decision.